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Friendships, Relationships, Partnerships, and Significant Others




I want to share some insights on friendships, relationships, partnerships, and significant others that I believe you will find useful, especially around family gatherings.


One of the biggest challenges in any relationship is dealing with the ego. The ego is the part of us that wants to be right, special, superior, and in control. The ego is also the part of us that feels insecure, threatened, defensive, and fearful.


The ego produces a lot of problems in a relationship, especially if we are not aware of it. Awareness is the key to overcoming the ego and creating a more harmonious and loving relationship. Awareness means being able to recognize when the ego is acting up and how it affects us and our partner.


Sometimes, the ego can be subtle and tricky. It can pretend to be more aware or enlightened than it really is, or it can project its own issues onto our partner. For example, we might think that our partner is being selfish, arrogant, or needy, when in fact it is our own ego that is feeling that way.


Awareness can help us see through these illusions and understand ourselves and our partner better. Awareness can also help us communicate more effectively, empathize more deeply, and resolve conflicts more peacefully.


Here are some signs that the ego is interfering with your relationship:


- Become more aware of your own ego and how it affects your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Notice when you are being judgmental, critical, blaming, or controlling. Notice when you are feeling insecure, jealous, angry, or hurt. Notice when you are avoiding responsibility, denying reality, or rationalizing your actions.


- Communicate with your partner in a way that reduces ego clashes and promotes understanding and harmony. Listen to your partner's perspective without interrupting or dismissing it. Express your own perspective without attacking or blaming it. Seek to understand each other's feelings and needs without judging or criticizing them.


- You or your partner feel superior or inferior to each other or to other people.


- You or your partner feel entitled to more respect, attention, or appreciation than you give or receive.


- You or your partner are obsessed with your appearance, achievements, or possessions.


- You or your partner are always busy, restless, or dissatisfied with what you have or do.


- You or your partner are constantly complaining about anything and everything.


- You or your partner are unable to admit mistakes, apologize sincerely, or forgive easily.


These egoic traits will cause a lot of stress, frustration, and resentment in a relationship. They will also make you lose sight of the true essence of yourself and your partner. The good news is that you can overcome them with awareness and love.


The first step is to acknowledge that you have an ego and that it is not who you really are. You are not your thoughts, feelings, opinions, or beliefs. You are not your body, mind, or personality. You are a spiritual being having a human experience.


The second step is to observe your ego without judging it. Notice when it arises and how it affects you and your relationships. Be honest with yourself and don't deny or rationalize your egoic behavior.


The third step is to choose a different response. Instead of reacting from the ego, respond from your true self, your soul. Your true self is loving, compassionate, peaceful, and joyful. Your true self wants the best for you and your partner.


Some ways to respond from your Soul / true self are:


- Express gratitude for yourself, your partner, and your relationship.


- Give compliments, praise, and encouragement to yourself and your partner.


- Listen attentively, respectfully, and empathetically to yourself and your partner.


- Speak kindly, honestly, and constructively to yourself and your partner.


- Apologize sincerely when you make a mistake, and let it go.


- Forgive yourself and your partner when they make a mistake, and let it go.


- Support yourself and your partner in pursuing their dreams and goals.


- Celebrate yourself and your partner's successes and achievements.


- Have fun with yourself and your partner and enjoy life together.


Ego clashes are inevitable in any relationship, but they don't have to ruin it. By becoming more aware of our own ego and how it affects our relationships, we can learn to deal with it in a healthy and constructive way. By challenging our ego, we will enhance our self-esteem and self-compassion. By communicating and collaborating with our partner in a way that reduces ego clashes and promotes understanding and harmony, we can create a more loving and fulfilling relationship. 


By practicing these steps regularly, you will gradually reduce the influence of the ego in your relationship and increase the presence of love. You will also experience more happiness and joy in your relationship and in your life.


I hope this has been helpful to you. Please feel free to share it with your partner, family, or a friend if you think they would benefit from it too.


I would love to hear from you if you have any questions or feedback.


Thank you for reading, have a wonderful day!


-Eddie

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